30 Day Blog Challenge topic: Your earliest memory

Candace of Name Your Tune inspired this post when she posed the following on her Facebook page:

Ladies, when you got married, did you take your husband’s last name? Was it an easy decision or were you torn? Was it hard for you? I would love to hear about it.

It just so happens that one of my first memories is about this very topic. The answers to Candace’s questions (and others before it) are fascinating. So many perspectives and so many reasons. I have always known that if and when I got married, I’d keep my last name. It has never been up for debate.

I remember clearly the first time I had a conversation on this topic. I was about three years old and was shopping with my mom and my paternal grandmother. I’m not sure how the conversation started, but that was the day I learned that my grandmother had had her married name longer than her birth name. I was scandalized and responded with:

“No man is gonna take my name away from ME!”

Yup. I was three. Fiercely convicted. To a fault, perhaps.

My decision has never wavered and it won’t. That is why both my kids have my last name as their middle names.

The interesting thing about this story is that after doing some research tonight, I realized that my grandmother never legally had my grandfathers name. Being from Quebec, she had to assume her husband’s name. It was the same for my mom. It was a technicality more than anything, but it blew my mind a little that at the time of her death, she was still a Williamson.

30 Day Blog Challenge topic: Bullet your whole day

People have asked me what I do all day. For the most part, I am a stay-at-home mom. I do occasional freelance work, but between contracts, it doesn’t occupy much time. So what do I do all day? Honestly, I am just as curious as some who have asked. Usually when people ask me, I sit in stunned silence because a) it’s kinda rude b) I don’t really know.

When I saw that the 30 Blog Challenge called for this post, I embraced it. Fair warning, it’s a detailed account of my day. Once I started taking note of my day, minute by minute, I started to wonder what it would reveal.

Here is a peek into what an average 24 hours looks like in my house.

12:00 am

• Attempt to go to bed.

12:02 am

• Em wakes up.

12:55 am

• Finally get Em to sleep.

1:05 am

• Settle in for the night.

1:23 am

• Q wakes up.

1:43 am

• Settle back into bed.

2:48 am

• Em wakes up. Nurse Em.

3:55 am

• Wake up to go to the bathroom.

5:05 am

• Em wakes up itchy. Rub her head.

5:55 am

• Nurse Em.

7:08 am

• Realize with horror that the alarm will go off in 22 minutes.

7:30 am

• 22 minutes later.

7:37 am

• Go to wake Q and discover he’s wet the bed.

7:38 am

• Em wakes up.

7:40 am

• Get Q dressed for preschool.
• Get Q breakfast.
• Nurse Em.
• Change Em’s diaper and realize it leaked. Change her clothes.
• Make some caffeinated dirty water.
• Gather change of clothes, shoes, mitts, etc., for preschool.
• Throw on yoga pants and hoodie.
• Check Mr. T’s car for snow pants and backpack.
• Realize that Q’s snow pants and backpack were left at his cousins’ house.
• Accept that I’ll be that mom who sends her kid to preschool, ill-prepared.
• Organize and take out two weeks worth of recycling.
• Feed Em.
• Bundle Em up and put her in her car seat.
• Brush my teeth.
• Nag Q about his jacket and boots.

8:35 am

• Leave the house.

8:45 am

• Arrive at preschool (am reassured that preschool has extra snow pants).

9:00 am

• Get home.
• Sit down for a few minutes with (hour old) coffee and jot down morning.
• Facebook while Em sleeps.

9:44 am

• Jump in the shower.

9:56 am

• Get dressed.
• Put kids’ clothes away.
• Strip Q’s bed.
• Start a load of laundry.

10:05 am

• Respond to a bunch of text messages.
• Make call for work.

10:17 am

• Fold laundry in front of the TV.

10:34 am

• Get ready to run errands and pick up Q.
• Switch laundry.
• Update bullets.

10:46 am

• Leave house.
• Go to drugstore and bank.

11:15 am

• Pick up Q.

11:25 am

• Get home.

11:27 am

• Bathe Em and do her skin care regimen.

11:45 am

• Feed Em and Q.
• Nurse Em.
• Eat lunch.

12:30 pm

• Deal with temper tantrum.
• Make Q’s bed.
• Start Q’s quiet time.

12:40 pm

• Update bullets with Em on my lap.

12:45 pm

• Turn on webcam for Em (it’s the new “mirror”).
  

  webcam!

1:10 pm

• Put Em down for a nap.
• Sit still in the quiet for 20 minutes. Breathe.

1:30 pm

• Clean bathroom.
• Tidy and sweep kitchen.

2:00 pm

• Q finishes quiet time.
• Tidy living room while Q watches a show.
• Make Q a snack.
• Sweep front hall.
• Take garbage to the garage.

2:30 pm

• Update bullets.
• Cuddle with Q for a quick minute.
• Help Q pick up his toys.

2:57 pm

• Em wakes up.
• Cuddle Em.
• Play with Q.
• Update bullets.

3:30

• Get Em a snack.
• Sit on the floor and play.
• Fight fatigue.

3:53

• Nurse Em.
• Check Facebook.
• Play with kids.

4:58

• Tidy front hall.
• Mr. T is bringing home dinner!!
• Tidy living room again.
• Put away groceries Mr. T brought home.
• Watch Q and Em play together.
• Update bullets.
• Read this blog post and relate, considering my chosen exercise for the day.

5:34

• Eat!

6:20

• Go upstairs to lay down. Finally.

7:02

• Come down to inconsolable Em.
• Nurse Em.
• Bathe Em and do skin care regimen.

7:30 pm

• Put Em to bed.

7:50 pm

• Mr. T takes Q to bed.
• Unload and load dishwasher.

8:00 pm

• Veg in front of the TV.
• Check Facebook and Pinterest.

This was an interesting exercise for me because we don’t really pay attention to clock time in our house. In fact, most of the clocks in our house are wrong. Unless we have somewhere to be at a certain time, I hardly ever look at a clock. We don’t have a rigid schedule, but as I look at our day, I realize that we do have a definite routine that happens at roughly the same time every day.

I also realized that almost every minute of my day is accounted for. As much as I think I sit around, idly, I realize that when I am sitting, I am nursing Em, or entertaining her, or eating. I am not idle. I think if I was actually idle, I’d crash. If I sit too long, I might pass out.

The other thing I noticed is that it doesn’t take me near as long to do things as I would have guessed. I can do far more in 10 minutes than I would have given myself credit for. I’d expect that my house would be tidier after cleaning that much in a day, though. I wouldn’t even say it’s company ready. Sigh.

30 Day Blog Challenge Topic: Put your iPod on shuffle and write first 10 songs that pop up

Here’s a secret for you. I don’t own an iPod. I have never owned an iPod. No Mp3 player, either. Nothing. All I have is a Blackberry with a memory card that I put some songs on a few years ago and all of them were ripped from my CDs.

The sad truth is that I don’t know how to consume music in this century. I have never even been on iTunes. If I am not listening to five year old CDs, I have the radio on. I know, I know…soooo last century.

I resisted CDs when they came out, too. I loved my cassette tapes. Eventually, I couldn’t get what I wanted on tapes, so I gave in to CDs. Now, I’m not ready to quit them. Problem is, I would feel so OLD and out of touch if I were to go into HMV to buy music.

So, this is what I’m left with. The most recent song on this list is Footprints by TOK (2005). Sigh.

Hip Hop – Dead Prez

Footprints – TOK

Break Ya Neck – Busta Rhymes

I Hear a Symphony – The Supremes

Fight the Power – Public Enemy

If You Don’t Know Me By Now – Otis Redding

Cat Stevens – Morning Has Broken

Take Me There – Mya ft

Back In The Day – Pharcyde

Heaven Only Knows – K-OS

I actually really love all these songs. As far as I’m concerned, they are all timeless. In keeping with the sentiment of this post, here is some old school for you. Enjoy!

Today’s 30 Day Blog Challenge Topic: Comfort Foods

When I think comfort foods, I my mind immediately conjures images of my youth and the food I ate as a child. Two foods stand out more than others and are the ones I turned to when I was recovering from gall bladder surgery last month.

The first is is tuna on toast and it is very specific. Clover leaf Flaked White Tuna mixed with vinegar, mayo, and pepper and spread onto dry toast. Mmm. It’s actually the only fish I will ever eat.

The second is weiners and beans. Again, very specific: Heinz baked beans in tomato sauce. My mom always made them with molasses, brown sugar, and dry mustard. Sometimes, I forgo the sugar. Then, I drown buttered toast with them. Yum.

I don’t make either often enough for them to even be on my kids’ radar. Maybe, I should rectify that.

30 Day Blog Challenge: Views on religion

This is a topic that I have actively and deliberately avoided blogging about – and one of the reasons I decided to commit to the 30 Day Blog Challenge.

I’ve been afraid to write this post for a numbers of reasons, none of which are terribly clear. I think, mostly, I’m afraid of disappointing people or being excluded from a “club” to which I don’t really belong, anyway.

I am fascinated by religion and systems of belief. I studied Religion & Culture in university and love learning about how faith intersects with historical accounts. I’ve read books upon books on the subject, and am always up for a good documentary about it. Further to that, I am fascinated by why believe what we believe. One of my favourite books, Why We Believe What We Believe by Dr. Andrew Newberg explains the neurobiology of belief and it blows my mind every time I read it.

That said, my system of belief is not well-defined or easily articulated. It’s easier for me identify what I don’t believe than what I do. In Closer to Fine, The Indigo Girls summed up my sentiment in one line:

“The less I seek my source for something definitive, the closer I am to fine”

I was raised Christian and was very active in my church as a child and as a teenager; I was involved in choirs, youth groups, camps, retreats, and anything else that was available. That was where my friends were. Much of my social life was connected to the church. My community was there and it shaped me in ways that I am still discovering. I don’t identify as a Christian now, though. I haven’t for a long time. I’ve been called an agnostic, an atheist, a non-believer. In some ways, they all fit, but I shy away from labelling myself because it’s never fully accurate.

Ultimately, I believe that my system of belief is intensely personal and individual. Though it doesn’t fit into any religion, aspects of different religions fit into it. For a long time, I tried to define it, then I suddenly realized that it didn’t need to be defined to be valid.

What you know is more important than what you have been taught to believe – Emerson

30 Day Blog Challenge topic: Top 5 Pet Peeves

Only FIVE?!

Ok, here goes…in no particular order.

1. People responding with “I have/know a dog with that name” when I tell them the name of my baby. I don’t want to know. Really.

2. Drivers who don’t turn left into the closest lane.Turn into the closest lane and then move over. Please.

3. Pedestrian-unfriendly Smart Centres. Every store I need in one plaza…but I have to drive from one to another if I value my life.

4. Garbage and foodstuff in the kitchen sink. Gross.

5. Murphy, and his cursed law. Screw you, Murphy!

This post’s 30 Day Blog Challenge topic: Where would I like to be in 10 years?

In ten years, I will have a teenager and a 10 year old. Seems impossible, but I know it will pass so quickly I’ll wonder where the time went.

Aside from everyone being older, I don’t expect much to be different ten years from now. I would like to be where I am now. Same house. Same great neighbourhood. I don’t wish to have anything ten years from now that I don’t have now. I have spent my entire life creating the life I am living and I, honestly, don’t want for anything.

Maybe, I’ll be working outside the home instead of freelancing, but, I don’t have terribly ambitious goals. I’m happy where I am right now and if this is where I am in ten years, I’ll be grateful.

In case you missed it, I have committed to doing the 30 Day Blog Challenge.

This post’s topic: Current relationship

I will say, the current threw me for a second. I don’t think of Mr. T as current. He is relationship. Full stop.

I very rarely talk about Mr. T on my blog, by his request. The most depth I’ve gone into in about our relationship was about us not being married. I wrote that post a year and a half ago and nothing has changed with respect to the legal status of our relationship. We are unmarried spouses.

Mr. T and I keep to ourselves. We simply don’t talk about what is going on with us – good, bad, or ugly. So, writing a blog post about our relationship is awkward. It’s hard not only because he’s asked me not to talk much about him, but because it’s not something I, generally, talk about with other people. The person I talk to about my relationship with Mr. T, is Mr. T. That is the beauty of it. Both of us always know exactly where we stand. All the time. Sometimes, that’s not a comfortable place to be – but, as far as I’m concerned, it’s better than wondering and worrying. When something comes up, we address it. Then, it’s over. The process might get messy, but the end result is clarity.

Mr. T and I have been together for six years. From the first time I heard his voice, I knew he was special. Within six months of our first date, we were living together. Some things you just know.

We have our differences, and I suspect people who know us wonder why we chose each other. But, we’re more similar than we seem. When it comes to things that matter to us, Mr. T and I have always been on the same page. Values. Religion. Parenting. Spending. Politics. Social justice.

We are both passionate about what we hold true and neither of us shy away from expressing ourselves. To a fault, perhaps. Debates get heated, but feelings don’t get hurt. Even if people don’t get us, we understand each other.

We love each other. We love our children. Fiercely.