The other day, I was at the park with my son. While we were there, the local school let out and the playground flooded with high schoolers. There was a group of about 5 relatively close to where we were swinging who were talking about finally being in Grade 9. I didn’t pay much attention to them, although sometimes it was hard not to overhear their conversations.
As my 18 month old son was innocently swinging, two more young people arrived (of about the same age). One of the girls who had been hanging out said “Finally! I’ve been waiting for you!” So, it was obvious that they were familiar with each other. One of the boys who had been hanging out was white and greeted the approaching boy with “Hey, there’s black boy!” The white boy continued, saying “I saw this black guy telling black jokes, and they were so funny!” He proceeded to tell the jokes (which I have heard before, but won’t repeat).
The two youth who had been approaching, both of whom were black, continued to walk. They walked right by the group of their peers. Right by the girl who had been waiting for them. The white boy called after them “Hey, black boy! Where are you going?” They kept walking, silently, until they were out of sight. The girl who’d been waiting, who was white, called after them and looked perplexed when they ignored her. She said to her friends “Where’d they go? Why didn’t they stop?” Why didn’t they stop? Really?
Soon after that, the white boy was cursing loudly. The white girl said “Watch your language! There are kids around!!” Wow. I would rather my son hear him swear than to have him be subjected to the racism that we had just witnessed. I would rather him hear “shit” than black jokes, anyday!
This is what my son has to look forward to. Regardless of what he says, what he does, or what he thinks, he will be the “black boy.” What kind of world do we live in where white children judge and mistreat black children based on their racial identity? Where are they learning supremacist ideologies? Who is teaching it to them and how is it being reinforced?
I am glad that Q’s father is here to help him through this because I can never know what it is like to be oppressed because of my racial identity. I can acknowledge my whiteness and recognize the privilege that comes with that, but I can never live the torment of that child on the playground, and I can never put myself in my son’s shoes when he comes home from school and says that someone called him the n-word.
This is not ok.
For more information on white privilege, please read this article. If you disagree with my take on racism, power, and privilege, I would greatly appreciate it if you read the article before commenting. Thank you.
Other information on racism in Canada.
Videos of Tim Wise talking about white privilege.
I completely agree with you that I would rather my kids swear and curse than use racial slurs. I am floored in this day and age that people still speak like that, much less around their kids, encouraging obnoxious behavior.
I agree with you 100% – I will take swearing any day. I can’t believe that people are still so ignorant that they utter racial slurs, let alone younger kids. I just hope that my kids never have to hear such things. I know thats probably unlikely though – which is just beyond sad.
That is NOT okay AT ALL! I would have been completely horrified if I had heard that from those idiotic kids. I wonder what kind of parents they have? Because truly, if they were raised in a loving home and learned about how to be a decent human being, they wouldn’t have been saying this stuff. We’ve all been young, we’ve all done stupid things, but THAT type of behaviour is never to be tolerated, IMO. Skin colour has never ever been an issue with my children, they talk to and play with everybody and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I can’t comprehend racism, at all. Sorry you had to hear that from those kids.
I for one do not like to hear stuff like that, and thank goodness none of my older kids talk or act that way towards or about anyone. I would be so hurt to catch them acting like that…wonder if these kids act that way at home or if that’s where they learn it…that’s pretty sad too !
Wow, what a powerful post. I didn’t realize that racism was such a problem in Canada. I guess ignorance is pervasive worldwide.
Mocha Dad – it’s a huge systemic problem that is perpetuated by our education system and media. A lot of people (Canadians included) don’t think it’s that pervasive, either, which is hugely problematic. It is different than in the US – no one talks about it and as a nation we just pretend that it’s not there.
Hi Sarah – came here from Lady Mama’s blog and was reading through some of your posts, when I came upon this one. I’m white, grew up in Canada, and will admit, was totally oblivious to racism here until I moved to East Africa for a year. I was the only white girl in the village. The only white girl who lived and worked in the city period, other than tourists. Being white we (I) was called an Nzungu. Swahili for “White”, but is used in a derogatory way. I commented one day to my host family how awful it was to be categorized, labelled, yelled at while walking down the street by this term. They looked at me and said “but that’s what you do in America. Walk down the street and yell “black, black”. It was a powerful conversation that has stuck with me. I hate to think it is as overt as that here, and your experience sickens me. I wish it could be different. It should be different. How ridiculous that we as a human race still categorize each other by our skin tone. I’m sorry your little boy, and you, and those two teenage boys, had to hear that. And I’m apalled at the kids that were doing the commenting.
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