Yes! Yes! I will marry you!

Usually (hopefully) that follows a proposal.  A couple becomes engaged, sets a date for the wedding, and then spends the next several months in blissful agony planning the best day of their lives – the wedding of their dreams!  So romantic.  At least, that’s what I’ve heard.  I am not married.

Technically, I am engaged.  Mr. T and I have been engaged for going on 4 years.  It’s a technicality, though.  There is no wedding in sight.  No venue.  No decorator.  No registry.  No flowers.  No dress.  No anticipation.  No desire.  None of it.  Just thinking about a wedding exhausts me – and the cost? No, thank you.

Here’s my secret.  I don’t really want a wedding.  Truth be told, I don’t feel the need for a legal, formal marriage or the paper that comes with it.  I have always shied away from convention.  Generally, I don’t like to do what I am supposed to do or what is expected of me just for the sake of it.

Hence, unmarried and quite happy about it!

I wasn’t that little girl who dreamed of her wedding day.  I don’t recall ever thinking about it – never planning it or fantasizing about it.  It just didn’t occupy my thoughts.

I don’t believe that having a wedding and being married will strengthen our relationship.  We publicly profess our love and commitment to each other everyday.  We live together, file taxes together, raise our son together, own a house together, pay our bills together, vacation together (wait, what’s that?).  We share our lives with one another.  We share everything with one another.

We know that neither of us is going anywhere.  In the eyes of the law, we are each other’s spouse.  He calls me his wife.  Sometimes, I call him my hubs. I wish we had more fitting titles.  Titles with the strength of husband and wife without the assumption of marriage.  It bothers me that there is no title that honours the depth of our relationship.

Right now, I can’t find a really good reason to have a wedding.  At this point in our lives and our relationship, I don’t see how it would enhance anything.

For now instead of living in yes, we are living in maybe someday.  Not right now.

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This post is my final installment for Momalom’s Five for Ten. The topic is Yes!