Soon after my son was born, I wrote this post.  At the time, I was paranoid about breaking him and screwing him up.  I have since realized that I most certainly will screw him up, as all parents do.  I’ve come to terms with that and decided that all I can do is my best to raise a healthy, well-rounded, open-minded child.   His father and I will make mistakes and I will do my best not to wrap myself in guilt over it.  That doesn’t help anyone.

At some point in his first year of life, I decided that we (his father and I) know what is best for him and our family.  That said, we do our best to make child-rearing decisions ourselves and try not to get too caught up in external influences – family members, other parents, or “experts.”  The only expert on my kid is my kid – we are the next best thing.

So many mothers seem to stress out about doing it right and doing what they are supposed to do.  In so doing, many of them don’t listen to their instincts and really get wrapped up in how to parent instead of why we parent.  Then, they seem to end up wishing that they had just listened to their baby.

My son has a pretty consistent self-imposed schedule – naps, bedtime, eating.  Once I learned to listen to him, I realized that his instincts and his body let him know what he needs.  I can set a clock by his sleep patterns.  That said, I let him sleep when he’s tired and eat when he’s hungry (even if it falls out of his regular schedule).  My take is that he is a human (as am I) and who am I to dictate when he should be tired and hungry.  I need to give him the credit he deserves and realize that he knows better than anyone what his needs are.

Now, I am not saying that he runs around all willy-nilly doing whatever he wants and running the household.  All I am saying is that when it comes to meeting his needs, it’s a collaborative effort among him, me, and his father.

I guess the point is that it is all about balance.  Rigidity in any way does not work for him – rigid schedule, or active avoidance of one.

I am blessed with an awesome, easy-going, chilled-out kid.  He is non-stop and always on the move, but he is adaptable and laid back.  Maybe I am just lucky and the next one will prove me wrong.  Either way,  I don’t believe I can go horribly wrong by trusting my instincts and listening to my baby and really getting to know him and letting him express his own needs – when he needs them.

I am not out to judge how anyone else parents – not any more that I seek to have others judge how I parent.  However, what works for us, works for us.