This morning I hosted a pity party.  It was invite-only, and I was the only attendee.  I spent the morning immersed in me.  I was up too early.  I didn’t get a long enough nap.  I‘ve been up and down the stairs too many times.  I can’t understand what my 19 mos old is saying.  I need more coffee.  I can’t believe we don’t have any more sugar.  I need to stop reading about the H1N1 vaccine.

Oh, woe is me.

Then, I took a shower and as the warm water washed over me, I realized that I am an idiot.  A privileged idiot… arguably, the worst kind of idiot.  Here I was standing in warm running water with a roof over my head.

The water left me in peace.  I got out and discovered that my favourite sweats were clean (score!)  and that my son is still asleep and still BREATHING!

Here I am, able to stay at home with my sick little boy and take care of him – myself.
Here I am, able to take a nap in the morning.
Here I am, with 3 (count ‘em 3) coffee making appliances.

And, I am lamenting over the lack of sugar and lack of sleep?

Here I am, irritated by all the talk about whether or not to get the H1N1 vaccine, while many people in the world can only dream of having the choice of whether to vaccinate or not.

Here I am so blinded by my privilege, that I can’t even see past my own inconvenience.

Check yourself, Sarah.  You’ve got it pretty damn good, my dear.

let the water wash over you
let the water wash over me
let it take all our hatred and wash it away
leaving only peace.*

*PMC c. 1980s