A Lesson in interactions

Posted on April 11, 2009 by Sarah Carmichael

Dear Q,

This is a hard lesson to learn, but it is important to remember. How you interact with other people reflects a lot about your self. Make every interaction count. Make it nice. Make it kind. Make it meaningful. It may seem easier to be mean, sarcastic, insulting, and petty – especially if others interact with you in that way. What do you gain from those – meanness, sarcasm, insults? Ego-stroking. People pull others down in order to try to build themselves up, make themselves look cool, or to gain power. Ultimately, that doesn’t work. It may appear to, but it will catch up with you.

Every other human is a reflection of your self. We are all manifestations of the same essence. How you treat others is how you treat your self. I am not saying to ‘treat others how you wish to be treated.’ I am saying, ‘how you treat others is how you are treating your self.’ We are different embodiments of the same. We are all the same essence in different bodies and physical forms.

Think of a soap bubbles. Inside each bubble is air. The air has always existed, but the soap gives each bubble its shape and makes it visible. When a bubble bursts, the air still exists. We are like bubbles. We are all the same essence made temporarily visible by our physical form.

When you interact with other human physical forms, remember that they are just different manifestations of you; they are bubbles of the same air.

Love always,
Mom

Getting caught up in the ‘shoulds’ of this world…

Posted on March 30, 2009 by Sarah Carmichael

There are a lot of things I should do, should be doing, should be thinking, should be feeling, and should be judging. There are things I should be drinking, should be eating, should be watching, should be saying, should be listening to.

The world I know has very specific standards and it has spent my entire lifetime conditioning me to aspire to these standards – and to feel guilty or inferior for not meeting them or worse, not aspiring to them. More often than not, these standards conflict with what I know to be true.

Sometimes, I catch myself getting caught up in the shoulds of this world. I have to check myself. Why do I want to aspire to them? What do I get out of it? Attention? Affection? Affirmation? That is all ego.

Negotiating this world is a challenge. Sometimes, convenience trumps goodness. Sometimes, the perceived importance of time trumps compassion. Sometimes, ego trumps consciousness. Sometimes… perhaps, most of the time.

As much as it likes to think it is, this world is not built for goodness, compassion, or consciousness. We are too caught up in what we ‘should’ be doing to do what we should be doing, and to be who we are.

In Illusions, Richard Bach wrote “I am tired of clinging. Though I cannot see it with my eyes, I trust that the current knows where it is going.“ What am I clinging to? Where would the current take me if I let go? Dare I?

A Lesson on ego

Posted on June 26, 2008 by Sarah Carmichael

Dear Q,

My mother always said “don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.” Once I figured out what it meant, I appreciated the wisdom. Spitefulness, in any case, is the work of your ego. It always needs to be right, to be better, or look better, or do better; it’s usually at the expense of relationships, but it’s always at the expense of your spiritual well-being.

Keep your ego in check. It is really easy to buy into this “buy me” world that we humans have created. This consumer-driven world can cater to your ego if you let it. In my experience, a let it be attitude is much easier to live by than a look at me attitude. As the world is telling you to consume and you find yourself wanting to (and you will), ask yourself why.

Why do you want the big screen TV, the fancy car, or the big house? What part of you really wants it? It’s your ego; it’s the part of you that gets stroked whenever someone looks longingly at it. Your ego will relish the thought that you might appear better or richer or more worthy. Resist it. The more you feed your ego, the more it grows.

It is really easy to let your ego get the better of you – to let it make your decisions and dictate your interactions and relationships. Trust me, it is not worth it. Don’t let yourself get in your own way.

Love,

Mom