For months, I have been thinking about how reciprocity fits into online communities and living online. Recently, I’ve had a number of discussions on blogs and Twitter about what really boils down to the pressure of reciprocity. (Are my anthropology roots showing?)
In the context of anthropology, there are a few types of reciprocity. In my opinion, the one that best suits online interactions is called balanced reciprocity.
Balanced or Symmetrical reciprocity occurs when someone gives to someone else, expecting a fair and tangible return at some undefined future date. It is a very informal system of exchange. The expectation that the giver will be repaid is based on trust and social consequences
(I got this definition from wikipedia, but it is near identical to everything I found in my old textbooks – and easier to cite).
What is interesting about that definition is that it can apply to blog comments, Facebook friends requests, Twitter mentions, blogrolls, Twitter follows, Twitter listings, blog subscriptions, even emails. The interesting thing about it is that oftentimes, specifically with Twitter, the giver doesn’t know the receiver and may have never even interacted with that person.
Expectation is a powerful thing and the burden of obligation weighs heavy on our fingertips. It is a lot of pressure to keep up – to reciprocate.
I don’t believe that it is necessary to reciprocate everything. We need to cut ourselves some slack, be selective, and allow ourselves to have a balanced experience instead of getting caught up in balancing our experiences with others’.
It is important to me to read blog posts that speak to me and comment when I have something to say. I don’t like to leave empty comments any more than I like to get them. That said, I do feel the need to support blogs I read and bloggers I like.
As for Twitter, there is no need to only follow people who follow back. In fact, that is a good way to miss out on a lot of great information, inspiration, and perspective. If I find value in someone’s tweets who doesn’t find value in mine, that is ok; everyone is on Twitter for different reasons. It would be inefficient to follow everyone who follows me and I think it is unreasonable to expect everyone I follow to follow me back.
Reciprocity is vital to online communities and networking. Undoubtedly. However, reciprocating everything is inefficient, time-consuming, and unnecessary. Attaching too many strings to our online experience diminishes it. Online, our most valuable gifts are words; they are the currency. Let’s give and receive them freely.