To give is priceless

A few weeks ago, I met a remarkable woman who continues to inspire me even after only a brief encounter. I needed her help. I was asking of her and she was willing to give. When I asked what I could offer her in return, she said “Don’t worry, I don’t want anything.” I couldn’t accept that. I thought that she was being polite, but that she was really wondering what was in it for her. Upon insisting to compensate her, she said “I like to give and I have something to give that you need. I don’t need to get something back. I am doing this for you, not me.”

Wow.

It seems that in this world I know most people want to know what is in it for me? What do they get out of a given arrangement? How do they benefit? How will they be compensated for their time, money, expertise, knowledge?

That this woman wasn’t the least bit concerned about herself was refreshing and admirable. Imagine if more people approached life and interactions like that. Imagine if most people in this world went through their days thinking what is in it for you? How can I benefit you?

I wonder what would happen if spent my day defaulting to giving what I can instead of getting what I can. I am inclined to think that at the end of the day, I would feel full instead of depleted.

With that, I leave you with this song by one of my all-time favourite artists, K’naan.  For those of you who are outside Canada, you can view the video here

… to give is priceless.

The truest and most honest gifts are ones for which you expect nothing in return – not even a thank you. A Lesson in Giving

A blog, neglected.

I the past 2 weeks, I have been neglecting my blog, other blogs, Twitter… and my laptop.

There are a couple of reasons for my absence (all good, so don’t worry). Basically, if I haven’t been able to access something from my phone, I have been neglecting it. I even wrote this post on my phone.

Fear not, though. I have no intention of abandoning my blog (or any of you). I have posts brewing in my head that will soon see the light of day – though, perhaps sporadically.

To those of you who continue to visit my blog despite the lack of new content, thank you. It kinda blows my mind that people are digging for old content and continuing to comment. I appreciate it so much!

I have not forgotten about you and I hope you don’t forget about me (not that I would blame you, though).

I look forward to being back on a more regular basis… and I know that when I am, I’ll have a lot of catching up to do!

The power of transparency: Kanye West

It’s a little known fact that I follow pop culture. Closely.  I keep up with what is happening in the entertainment world and with the people who inhabit it.  In fact, at one point in my academic career I considered doing research on the cult of celebrity because it fascinates me so much.

I have my opinions on the goings-ons, stories, and rumours that surround celebrities.  Rarely, do I share them – especially publicly.  It’s none of my business.  It’s about other people’s lives and I don’t generally feel it’s my place to weigh in.  Until today.  Today, I am contributing my 2 cents about none other than Kanye West.

I am a fan.

I have been a fan of Kanye West since he produced some of my favourite songs on the Brown Sugar soundtrack.  He is one of the few artists whose music I have purchased on CD and that I still listen to regularly.  He is talented and he has a message if you’re willing to listen.

When he said and did stupid things, I didn’t contribute to the Kanye-bashing.  There are people out there doing far worse things than stunting and running their mouths.  As far as I was concerned, it was irrelevant.  He was throwing around his ego.  Big deal.  It didn’t affect me at all and it didn’t change how I felt about his music.

It affected him, though.

And this morning, he lay it all bare and told the world how.  Over the course of over 70 tweets, Kanye released a stream of consciousness telling his side of the story.  His truth.  Uncensored.  Unedited.  Unfiltered by media, publicists, record labels, or managers.

The vulnerability of his tweets fascinated me and the power of his transparency struck me. It is quite possible that he has single-handedly changed the game by removing the filters. Twitter gave him the power to tell his story in his own words without being at the mercy of the editing process of media. He was able to get his words out without being interrupted or bound by anyone else’s agenda.

I think that the implications of this will be beneficial to Kanye and his forth-coming album. I applaud him. So few people, much less celebrities, are willing to be so raw and unedited – to bare themselves and publicly acknowledge their weaknesses and wrong-doings.

Was this a publicity stunt? Perhaps. But, I don’t think it matters. As I am sure Kanye well knows by now, the implication of one’s words and actions are more powerful than the intention behind them. Even if everyone else calls fraud, he has inspired me.

My writing is functionally detached. I know this. It is guarded and bound by fear of rejection. I will defend my actions and own them, but not my words. As a result, I approach deep topics and deeps issues as objectively as possible. Academically, even.

Maybe, just maybe, Kanye has inspired me to expose myself a little more – to lay myself out there and own my words as fiercely as I do my actions.  To speak my truth.

My sentiments exactly.

What do you think of Kanye’s tweet stream? Do you think it’s genuine?
How willing are you to expose yourself, unedited?
What filters do your words go through?

Getting to know all about me: An Interview

One of my favourite blogger friends, Shannon at Comments from a Non-Blogger, tagged me in this interview meme. I enjoyed getting to know her better from her interview and I hope that this will give you an opportunity to learn a little about me.

Enjoy!

What experience has most shaped you, and why?

I don’t talk about the details of this experience publicly for the sake of the other people involved, but it has shaped me more profoundly than any other in my life. Although this experience was traumatic at the time, it lay the foundation for some of the most important lessons in my life. Through betrayal, it taught me how to forgive. It taught me how to let things go and allow them to help me grow. I learned how to identify the positive aspects of any situation and focus on them. These lessons have influenced how I parent, how I interact with people, and how I view my place in this world. Traumatic as it was, I am beyond grateful for it.

If you had a whole day with no commitments, what would you do?

I’d love to be able to say I’d go to a spa, or read a book over coffee, or something sophisticated like visiting a museum. However, I would probably sleep much of the day and watch TV in my sweats.

What food or drink could you never give up?

I love me some caffeine. I love espresso drinks and cola. I have tried to give up cola a few times in the past – to no avail. It has been a fave of mine since I was a teenager.

If you could travel anywhere, where would that be and why?

I have always wanted to go to southeastern Africa, but right now I am aching to see the ocean and really want to go to Maine where we used to vacation when I was a kid.

If you were leader of your country, what would you do?

If I had the power, I would over-haul the education system. I would make the curriculum inclusive and reflective of all the population. I would make sure that the history children learned actually represented the perspectives of everyone involved.

I would also ensure that social inclusion theory and anti-oppression frameworks were incorporated in the training and education of all teachers.

Give me one easy savoury recipe that doesn’t include cheese.

I love my Shepherd’s Pie. The secret is lots of basil in the ground beef.

What did you think you were going to be when you grew up?

I always knew I would be a mother. When I looked forward in my life, that is what I saw.

If you could spend just one day in someone else’s body, who would it be?

An infant. I think it would be fascinating to see the world through a newborn’s eyes. And, I’d get to sleep whenever I wanted to… I’d even be encouraged to!

Which woman writer – living or dead – do you most admire and why?

bell hooks. I admire that she writes what needs to be read – the intersections of race, class, and gender.

What character trait inspires you the most?

Generosity. People who give unconditionally inspire me. The world needs more people who consider what they can do, provide, offer, or be to make someone else’s life easier.

Which book or books have inspired or touched you the most?

I have quite a few that have inspired me. Richard Bach is the author of 2 of them – One and Illusions. His perspective on life resonates with me and what I know to be true.

What is your favorite family custom?

We don’t really have any. We used to go out for brunch on Sundays, which I loved to do, but it got too costly. Our family is not big on holidays or tradition. I think my favourite ones will be those that develop organically and evolve as Q gets older and understands more.

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Thanks, Shannon, for tagging me in this interview.  I like that I got to sink my teeth into some of the questions!

Now, this is my opportunity to tag other bloggers and get to know them better.

Shawn @, What will you be, Pea who is a great friend of mine and a funny daddy blogger.

Maria @ Bored Mommy Blog who is one of the first mommy bloggers I ever read.

Kameron @  a Wrinkle in Time who I actually met in person before reading her blog.  I would love to learn more about her.

I like my weather crisp.

It’s September – without a doubt, my favourite month. Even though the leaves will soon changes and fall to the ground, it is a time of new beginnings. New schools. New grades. New friends. New teachers. New clothes. New school supplies. New adventures.

I used to love going back to school in September. Although the novelty wore off pretty quickly, I always enjoyed the first day of school – charged with so much anticipation.

I welcome September as I pull out my hoodies, sweaters, and sneakers in anticipation of the crisp weather. It is a cozy month.

Next stop: Creative genius!

I wanted to give a photo book as a gift, but they are surprisingly hard to find. All I could find was an ugly blue one. Actually, as far as I can tell, these kind only come in blue. Ugly blue. Why not black?

Anyway, being that it was all I could find, I decided to just cover it with something. How hard could that be? I am no crafter, but I am a pretty creative person.

So, I went to my local craft store in search of some self-adhesive paper-type stuff to put on it. I walked around aimlessly for awhile, confused (and awed) by all the scrapbooking stuff.

Eventually I found someone who worked there.

Me: Do you have any self-adhesive paper-type stuff?

Her: blank stare

Me: Ok, so I have a photo album that I want to cover, so I am looking for something adhesive to put on it.

Her: Oh, we don’t have anything like that.

Me: What? It’s a craft store. You have nothing adhesive? Scrapbookers glue everything? Really?! Oh, ok.

Her: I am a scrapbooker. I’ve done a lot of books and even I would not attempt recovering something like that. You’d have to fold corners. It would be near impossible to make it smooth.

Me: Look, lady. We used to have to fold paper over textbooks in elementary school to keep them crisp. How hard can this be? Ok, thanks.

Her: I mean, if we were in another store, I could take the time to show you how to do it. Maybe you could get some flat quilting batting and cover it with fabric.

Me: I think that would be too bulky. I am pretty sure I simply asked for a something self-adhesive. Thanks. Do I look that stupid? (The dried coffee splatter on my face could have been a hint – wish I’d noticed that beforehand)

Her: Sorry. You just can’t do it.

Me: Challenge accepted!

So, I walked around and picked up some double-sided self-adhesive sheets and some  card stock paper. I was determined to make it work. I’d show her!

As soon as I got home, I set to work. I cut and stuck and folded (gasp).

And guess what…

It worked!

Take THAT sales lady. Ha! In your face. That is what you get for underestimating me.

In unrelated news, I will be stopping by that store with a resume in the near future. Not really.

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My spell check tells me scrapbooking is not one word. I don’t care. I am making it one because I think it should be one.

Eat Pray Love – struggling through India

I know I promised you a post about the India section of Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love. I am still attempting to participate in Bored Mommy’s virtual book club.

Truth be told, I haven’t been able to finish it. I have tried, but I cannot get into this book. I really wanted to love Eat Pray Love because so many people like it and recommend it. However, right now I am ready to put it down and not pick it up again. I am struggling through each page.

I wasn’t impressed with Italy and I still don’t like Gilbert’s writing style. I am about three quarters the way through India and I am annoyed. I know that this book is about Gilbert and her journey, but I am finding this section incredibly self-indulgent and tiresome. She complains a lot. About everything. Her negativity brings me down, which is disappointing because she is on a spiritual journey while in India. Maybe some of her enlightenment shines through in the pages I have yet to read.

The bright light in the India section (and yes, there is one), is Richard from Texas. He is honest and insightful. Any of the little gems I will take away from this section come from him. He is a refreshing contrast to a whiny (yes, I said it) Liz.

Hopefully, I will get through this section and provide you with a more fair, inspired review.

In the meantime, wish me luck.

Six Word Friday: This much I know

I was taught what to believe
It clouds the truth I know
It shapes my identity, perceptions, interpretations
Every aspect of what I believe
Linked to something I was told
Grass is green. Sky is blue.
Believing is much different than knowing
I know better. All is relative.

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This is a Six Word Friday post. The prompt this week is ‘this much I know’

BlogHer: Heavy on social and networking. Light on content.

This past weekend, I went to BlogHer ’10. Simply put, it is a big conference for bloggers (predominantly women). In a nutshell, it was heavy on social and networking, but light on content.

BlogHer presented me with a great opportunity to meet women I have spent months connecting with online. I took full advantage of that. I went out for dinner in Times Square. I danced the night away. I met for coffee in the mornings and took a stroll through central park with a new friend. Those experiences made my trip worthwhile. Money well spent. The isolation I often feel as a stay-at-home mom disappeared as I was thrust into social event after social event. I needed that. Without a doubt, I needed that. I needed to be a woman for a few days without putting anyone else’s needs before mine. It was refreshing to only have to worry about myself.

That BlogHer was in New York City was bittersweet. I love the city, so during the conference I was constantly feeling the pull to wander off, explore, and take it all in. When I started to feel like I was really missing out, I took a few hours to myself and walked to central park where I sat enjoying a cool breeze and good book. I didn’t read as much as I watched people walk by – mostly tourists by my estimation. Someone asked me for directions and another struck up a conversation about the book I was reading. It finally made me feel connected to the city and the people in it. I took one photo while I was there and it was with my phone. One photo that captures the peace in the chaos. A beautiful park amid the city that never sleeps.

As much fun as I had at the conference, I can’t help but feel that BlogHer didn’t reach it’s potential in terms of information sharing and knowledge transfer. I know a lot of people go to BlogHer for the social and networking aspects, which is great. However, social media and blogging conferences can be about more than social networking. There is information to be shared beyond storytelling.

I have been to dozens of conferences and have had a hand in planning many. From that perspective, attending BlogHer was frustrating. It frustrated me that the conference did not not capitalize on the opportunity to share practical, applicable information.

The breakout sessions that I went to were disappointing. Though inspiring, they didn’t give me much to sink my teeth into. They were all panel discussions, which are great because they offer multiple perspectives and give voice to the audience. However, in order for the success of case studies to be transferable, they need to be supported by theory – steps that attendees can take away to help them achieve similar results. I came away with inspiration, but no tools to give it life.

I am a facilitator. I have been developing and delivering training programs for years and one topic that I trained was advocacy strategies. For me to go to a Change Agents session at a conference that offers no strategies or tools to replicate success was beyond frustrating. There was no practical information about:

  • offline advocacy efforts complementing online
  • calls to action
  • influencing public policy

If the information is not applicable, what is the point? Where is the learning?

As much as I love my fellow bloggers, not everyone who writes well, speaks well. I would have liked to have seen professional speakers complement the stories and case studies presented by bloggers. I would have liked to have seen a variety of learning styles addressed and I would have liked to have seen real learning opportunities and meaningful exchange of information.

In October of this year, I will be attending Blissdom Canada and I hope that it is more well-rounded than BlogHer was. I hope that there is as much emphasis on applicable learning as on storytelling. There is no reason that social media conferences can’t match the caliber of professional conferences – I have seen it with My Charity Connects, so I know it is possible. There is a wealth of information to be shared and people who want to learn it.

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* I refrained from linking to all my blogging friends for fear that I’d unintentionally leave someone out. They know who they are and they can be found in the blogroll of my sidebar.

Eat Pray Love – Italy

I didn’t read Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert when it came out or when it was hyped up by Oprah. I wasn’t interested and really had little intention of ever reading it. Then, Maria at Bored Mommy decided to start a virtual book club in anticipation of the upcoming movie. I couldn’t resist.

The book documents the journey of the protagonist, Elizabeth, through a year of self-discovery. It follows her through Italy, India, and Indonesia. Today, we are discussing Italy.

I am not sold on this book. I am over 100 pages in and feel like I could easily abandon it and not wonder what happened or what I could have learned. It actually took a lot of effort to get 50 pages into it because I am not a fan of Gilbert’s writing style. It is too familiar for my literary taste. It reads more like a blog than book. Also, I find the switching between present and past tense very distracting, which has made it hard for me to surrender to the story.

The story is inspiring, though. Elizabeth sets off on a journey of self-discovery – leaving everything behind and moving to Italy. I can relate to that. I’ve done that (though, I moved to Edmonton, which is hardly as romantic). I packed up my car and headed west where an old friend and a windowless room in a basement waited to welcome me. I had no savings, no job prospects, and no idea what I was going to do when I got there. It was incredibly liberating.

I think this book will grow on me the more I read it. There are definitely some passages that will stick with me. I especially like the discussion about the word on the street of a city and how that evolved into Elizabeth wondering what word encompassed her. It made me really think about what my word is.

I appreciate Gilbert’s willingness to be vulnerable and to expose herself. That she talks freely about her depression is admirable and courageous. I look forward to reading about India and hope that I can learn something from Elizabeth’s spiritual journey. Stay tuned for Eat Pray Love – India.