One Proud Mommy
I just read this post by Maria at Bored Mommy. The following was a comment that was left on her blog (unedited).
“Why is it that you call yourselves “mommies”? It’s infantile, like being called a girl instead of a woman. If giving birth (or adopting) and raising a child is so important, why don’t you insist on the dignity of the word “parent”? Or “mother” — if you insist on focusing on gender as well? I am a parent and I was “mommie” only to my children and then only when they were young. No wonder men and childfree women don’t take you seriously: You are endlessly self-absorbed, boring, juvenile, and have nothing to say for yourselves beyond your reproductive status and childrearing.
I take issue with a lot of what is in this comment, some of which I’ll tackle, some I won’t dignify with a response.
First of all, I call myself “mommy” because that is what I am – that is what my son calls me. There are many words that describe me, but at this point, I am most proud of mommy. Call me mother, mommy, mom, mama, ma… it doesn’t change who I am and what my relationship is to my son. I don’t consider any one more dignified than another because they all boil down to the fact that I am responsible for raising the most amazing kid I’ve ever known.
I rarely refer to myself as mommy in the public or online sphere – mostly because my blog preceded my endless self-absorption and preoccupation with my reproductive status and child rearing efforts. I don’t discourage it or shy away from it, though; I talk about being a mommy, about my son, about what I’ve learned from him; I share stories of his growth and his milestones…
There is no job that I have ever taken more seriously than raising the human who calls me mommy, and if there is anything infantile about the word, it is because it is tailored to children who are learning to talk!
Yes, I am a parent, but I prefer to not be called that. I have no interest in being gender-neutral. There is nothing wrong with my gender, in fact, I embrace it. I am a woman – you can even call me girl for all I care, just don’t strip me of my gender identity.
Ultimately, this comment left on Maria’s blog is not about me; it is about the woman who left it. However, to her I say… I am one proud mommy.
February 8th, 2010 at 7:37 pm
As always you have a way with words. Without a doubt, the most important thing is who we are to them.
February 9th, 2010 at 10:22 am
I am a proud mommy, too. That commenter was just an evil, sad human.
February 9th, 2010 at 12:22 pm
Well said! I agree — I think the woman who left that comment is clearly a very miserable human being. I can think of no other reason for a person to lash out in such a spiteful way.
I’m a proud mommy too!
February 11th, 2010 at 2:24 pm
Love the post girlfriend. Thanks for posting and linking up!!
February 18th, 2010 at 11:46 am
I agree on all points. I just stopped by your blog through SITS and began to read through.
It says a lot about your character that you would post a response for something rude left on a blogger friend’s blog. I love the name of your blog by the way!