… it’s not like I’m gonna change your mind.

I have a bittersweet relationship with online mommies.  Until very recently, I haven’t found much positivity or support online from other mothers – actually, there has been a lot of negativity, judgment, blaming, and opinion-imposition. Thankfully, I’ve found some great mommies and now, there’s a lot more sweet and a lot less bitter.

I feel lucky that my offline friends and I are pretty much on the same page when it comes to parenting.  If we aren’t, we don’t judge each other for the choices we make – some of us breastfed, some of us didn’t.  Some of us let our babies cry it out, some of us didn’t.  Some of us fed our kids the ‘wrong’ food early, and some of us introduced solids by the book. And, we’re all still friends!  How did that happen?

My friends are not my problem.  They know me and my parenting style.  They know that everything I do is in the best interest of Q.  And like I’ve said before, my son is the only expert on my son – we are a distant second, but we do our best.

I feel the judgment though -  from strangers (who do these stranger people think they are, anyway?).   I see it at the playgrounds mostly – when my son goes down the slide alone *gasp* or runs fearlessly in and around older kids who could *gasp* knock him down.  He’ll be ok.  He needs to explore his environment and learn to negotiate challenges and obstacles and older kids.  I keep him safe, but I don’t need to hold his hand 24/7.  In fact, I think it’s healthier for him if I don’t.  That’s my choice.

I feel the stares as I see other mothers run to my kid after he’s fallen down on the carpeted floor at the indoor playground.  I haven’t abandoned him; I am right there watching him get right back up and bolt to the nearest ball.  I know him and he knows I’m there.

My son is 18 months old and he makes his own choices.  He makes decisions and learns from the outcomes.  And, if he doesn’t learn, he will. He needs to.

So, to all of you strangers who are concerned for my son’s safety, I assure you that I am more concerned about his safety that you are and care more about him that you do – that is why I give him space to discover his world for himself.

I have no extra energy to waste worrying about what strangers think about me and I am not going to compromise my parenting methods to impress anyone I either don’t know or don’t like.  More importantly, I am not going to feel guilty about it – there is too much of that going around, already.

Dr. Seuss said it best…“those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter”