History is my story
A few nights ago, I was watching Emmitt Smith’s story on Who Do You Think You Are. As he was uncovering his ancestry, he said “history is not the past; history is my story” (or something to that effect).
That got me thinking. So often, I hear the past is the past, but it’s not true. The past is in us; it is us. It shapes us and affects us – we are who we are because of it.
What we consider our past becomes the present, the future, and then the past again. It is fluid – creeping up when we least expect it.
On occasion, the past surfaces and dominates the present. That happened to me today and it made me realize that I can never extricate myself from my experiences or the people with whom I shared them (for better or worse). They are part of me – I can’t escape them, or erase them, or even ignore them.
Everything that has happened to me up until this very moment has contributed to who I am, where I am, and with whom I share my life. For that, I am grateful. If given the chance, I would not change any of the bad, for fear of affecting the good. However, there are some experiences that I never want to repeat and there are some people whom I never want to see, speak to, or acknowledge again. Ever.
I am certain that at some point in my future, my past will creep into the present and slap me in the face again. When that happens, I will deal with it much as I did today. Accept it, render it powerless, and move on. Eventually, it might stop creeping up, creeping in, or creeping, in general. One can hope, anyway.
March 17th, 2010 at 10:47 pm
You are a strong, wise woman. “Render it powerless,” well said, well done.
March 18th, 2010 at 12:50 pm
I couldn’t agree more! History shapes who we are! Well put, Sarah. I know I wouldn’t be the person I am today without my past experiences. So true!
March 18th, 2010 at 1:19 pm
I’ve never truly believed that “everything happens for a reason”, nor can I understand why bad things happen to good people… but I agree with you that history shapes who we are and because of some of my past experiences I know I have defintitely become a stronger person. There are things that I wish would have never happened, but like you, I wouldn’t want that to affect any of the good in my life either. So I guess I will try to think more like you… to just deal with it and move on. Great post!
March 18th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
Thanks Shannon! Yeah, I haven’t reconciled the everything happens for a reason concept. I am not sure everything happens for a reason so much that everything that happens becomes something else.
Bad things happen to all people, and for me, I have had to concentrate on the good that has come out of it, what I’ve learned, or the trajectory it has sent me on. I think that ‘bad’ is a matter of perception and without bad things, would everything be good? If so, how would we measure that? Oh, these are the things I think about…
March 19th, 2010 at 1:26 am
One of the things I have learned about my history is that I do not have to be bound by the mistakes of my parents, the rejection of my father or even the behavior of others toward me. Yes, I can learn from the behavior. Yes, it has affected my choices. However, I do believe that God can deliver you from that rejection. That He defines you and not your families’ behavior. He can turn hurts into something beautiful. An optimistic(hopeful) attitude helps. I have faith in God’s promises which gives that optimism something toi stand on:)
March 19th, 2010 at 1:41 am
So true! I love, “If given the chance, I would not change any of the bad, for fear of affecting the good.” (clicked over from SITS)
March 19th, 2010 at 12:35 pm
Thanks for stopping by, Jill. I’m glad something resonated with you!
March 19th, 2010 at 3:26 am
Deep thoughts! I like it!
I agree, the past is a part of us, it’s what makes us who we are! A different past would mean a completely different person!
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
March 19th, 2010 at 12:37 pm
Hey, Nellyn! I’m glad you came by – I love deep thoughts. There is so much that we don’t understand (and it’s probably better that way, but it doesn’t stop me from trying)!
March 19th, 2010 at 6:11 am
Popped in from SITS to say hi!
March 19th, 2010 at 6:22 am
Very well said. I once told a friend I would love to change certain things in my past. And she said that if I did how would we have ever met. It changed my whole perspective on my past and future.
March 19th, 2010 at 12:34 pm
Have you seen the movie Sliding Doors? It resonated with me – one seemingly inconsequential turn of events (like missing the subway train), can send your life on a completely different trajectory.
March 21st, 2010 at 10:13 pm
I was thinking of that movie when reading your post! As a former history teacher, I think all the time about personal history and how it affects our every move. I’m not sure that historical events are always on our minds, but I do believe that the lessons we take from them are.
March 19th, 2010 at 11:28 am
I enjoyed reading this post. I believe our history does shape us and our future choices.
Jumped over from the SITS site!
PS love the blog design.
March 19th, 2010 at 12:32 pm
Thanks, Kita! I recently renovated.
March 19th, 2010 at 6:12 pm
Saw you on SITS. Great looking blog. I really enjoyed the content of your last few posts.
March 20th, 2010 at 12:08 pm
This is such a powerful post! You are absolutley right. Life is easier to accept if you have this frame of mind. Thanks for your awesome point of view. Stopping in from SITS!
March 21st, 2010 at 11:42 am
Deep discussion, SITStah! I believe that we’re here to learn lessons. Nasty ones, sometimes. For me, it’s about being responsible for decisions I’ve made, people I’ve trusted, risks I’ve taken. Learn, mourn, rejoice and be ready for the next lesson. We’ll look back on today as our past one day
March 21st, 2010 at 8:52 pm
Yeah, we do deep here sometimes!
You are so right about lessons…
March 21st, 2010 at 11:57 am
great post and powerful message – I think that half of my blogging is about recording our history … I’ve been conjuring up family stories every Sunday to keep the memories alive… and have seen the effects of my grandmother’s memoirs on the family members who have read them… powerful stuff!
March 21st, 2010 at 8:51 pm
That’s awesome! Her story is the story of everyone who descended from her… keeping it alive is so invaluable to those to follow.
March 21st, 2010 at 9:09 pm
So true. Not making this up. Right before I read your line about it all being fluid, I was thinking that life past, present, and future really is fluid really is one. Even going back to our grandparents, and great grandparents, and further we’re shaped by them. Their choices and lives impacted where and how we grew up. And what I had for lunch yesterday might impact my health tomorrow. It’s all one. Awesome post. xoxo
March 21st, 2010 at 9:23 pm
EXACTLY! That is exactly at the core what I was thinking. It’s fluid and cyclical and interconnected… and all us. All one.
March 22nd, 2010 at 9:15 am
I think we all have experiences and people we wish would could never encounter again. I know I do. Luckily, I moved far, far away from most people who knew me in the past so I have fewer chances of it happening now. Bound to catch up with me at some point though, always does, right? Stopped by from SITS.
March 22nd, 2010 at 8:08 pm
Hi Sarah, thanks for such a wonderful and inspiring article!
You’re right that the past is part of who we are. It shapes how we act and what we do in the present and future. And we can usually learn from it.
March 22nd, 2010 at 9:53 pm
Found you through SITS and very glad I did. I so understand this notion that you are who you are through the sum of your experiences. You can’t change any of it…it’s all part of the journey. Really great post.
March 22nd, 2010 at 10:04 pm
“you are the sum of your experiences” what a perfect way to put it! I am glad you found me too.
May 14th, 2010 at 7:45 am
[...] to the best of times, although I know that the worst of times has shaped me beyond measure. I accept that. I know that. I visit those memories and evaluate how they affect me – how the experience [...]