This is a tale about a little bead and an ear…
8:00 a.m.: I am lying on the floor in Q’s room and he is reading books to me.
“Mommy, you tired?”
“Yes, honey”
He goes to his bed, grabs his blanket and drapes it over me
“Here, mommy”
Then, he proceeds to surround me with stuffed animals and his pillow. Aw, I think, he is so sweet!.
“Go to sleep, mommy” I will have to remember to tweet this so everyone knows how sweet and awesome my kid is.
A minute or so later, he touches my ear (which is totally normal for him because he plays with ears as he falls asleep). Score! Back to bed!
“It’s fits” What?!
“What fits?”
“Bean in ear”
Slowly… “what do you mean? What bean?”
I tip my head a little yellow bead falls out of my ear. It is a bead from one of the maracas I had bought for him from the dollar store. It had smashed when he decided to use it as a drumstick – little beads flew everywhere. I thought I’d gotten them all. Evidently, not.
“Honey, it is not safe to put things in ears! That’s dangerous!”
“Other bead in ear”
“Is there another bead in mommy’s ear?”
“Yes”
*insert assorted expletives that may or may not have been said out loud.
I feel in my ear and sure enough, there is something hard and small. Knowing I could never get it out myself, I get us dressed and to the walk-in clinic.
9:00 a.m.: I see the doctor.
“It looks like you have a small, white, bead-like thing in your ear” Oh, really? I hadn’t noticed. Thanks.
“I am not sure I can get it out, but I’ll try” Awesome.
After inserting some kind of instrument into my ear he says “Nope, can’t get it. Actually, I think I might have pushed it in farther. You’ll have to go to the ER.” Perfect. Thanks, doc. Way to help a girl out.
Thankfully, my friend, Lisa, offers to watch Q while I go to the ER to get a bead extracted from my ear. For a second, I considered bringing him because I couldn’t think of better punishment for getting me in this mess. But, then I decided that it would be worse for me. So, as punishment for putting a bead in my ear, Q got to go play with his best bud.
10:03 a.m.: I tell the triage nurse in the ER what is wrong.
“Are you serious? How?”
“My 2yo put it in there”
“Oh! I have a 2yo. They are something else!” Don’t I know it.
Looking at the form she says “Hmm… foreign body in an adult’s ear. How am I going to explain this? They better not laugh at you!” At this point, I’m laughing, so they might as well be.
I get outfitted with a nifty wristband with my name on it and a GPS tracking device that I have to clip to my shirt so they can find me if I wander away (which was actually tempting).
12:00 p.m.: the doctor comes in the room trying to hide a smirk.
“So, you have a bead in your ear?”
“Yup”
“I can get it out”
He attaches a little suction thing in my ear, tells me to hold it there, and leaves the room. I suction my ear thinking that it can’t possibly be good for it, but what do I know? It’s better than the bead. He comes back with scissor-looking-like-things, inserts them into my ear and pulls out the bead. Finally!
“Here you go” he says as he drops it into my hand.
“Oh, and take these as a souvenir” he says, handing me the scissor-looking-like-things. He must have known I’m a blogger because what other use could I possibly have for these bad boys?
What’s the moral of the story?
Don’t trust a 2 year old who tells you to go to sleep
or
Don’t buy toys at the dollar store because they are crap and they break.
Take your pick.
Dr was probably figuring he was saving you a return trip when 2 yr old puts bead in own ear.
Good point… though, I’m not sure I’d trust myself using them!
Ha Ha!! Sorry, but man that is funny!! Liam and Q had a great time though…. No fun for you, but it would have been way worse trying to entertain him with NOTHING at the ER.
Having him in the ER with me would have been BRUTAL! Thanks so much for taking him – impromptu playdate = win!
I can’t help it, I’m totally snickering over here. I’m glad they got the bead out though. And now I’m crossing off the Dollar Store for toys, was actually going to stop there tomorrow.
Snicker, away!
It’s pretty funny. And yeah, the dollar store might be out for me, too.
You waited until now to get a bead in your ear?! Definitely a late-bloomer…
LOL! “it fits!” that’s hilarious! hilarious!
awa, what an ordeal, Sarah! I would have been panicking!
Glad you got the “bean” out. I can’t get over that this happened at 8 a.m., you went to the doctor’s office AND the ER and it was out by noon! That’s impressive!
Yeah, I made pretty good time, all things considered. I didn’t panic – I figured the worst thing that could have happened was that I need surgery… or that I lose my hearing and need a hearing aid. Not the end of the world.
Yeah… that’s totally why I would be panicking!
P.S. I didn’t mean to say “hilarious!” two times… I was on my Blackberry and for some reason I wasn’t able to see the text while I was typing it!
The things you never think you’ll have to go to the ER for!!
Glad it turned out ok!
I hope you don’t mind if I find this story kin of, really funny. It sounds exactly like something Nasia would do without hesitation – hence why I’m always wearing full combat gear when I’m around her. I need to protect myself.
It is funny! (Well, I make it funny
) I need some combat gear – or, at least ear plugs! 
Well I’m sure you won’t fall asleep around Q anytime for the next few years. Glad it all turned into something you could look back and laugh at.
Not only is this a hilarious story, but you have written it hilariously. Keep producing this kind of work and the advertisers will be beating down your door! (Or what the equivalent is in the Blogging world.)
Very proud Mama, me!
Thanks you! I had a lot of fun writing it – maybe I will do more in the future…
Oh no! I thought the going back to bed thing sounded too good to be true but the ER, what a drag!!
Yeah, no back to bed for me! I didn’t even get coffee til after the walk-in!
Ah yes, “never trust a 2 year old that tells you to go to sleep.” That, for sure is golden advice.
I also have a two year old. Another good one-
Never trust a 2 year old that says “open your mouth”.
Oooooh. Good one!
Laughing…really, really a laughing. (With you of course).
I’m like you, I look for lessons, morals to the crazy things that happen. I haven’t had any beads in ears (yours takes the cake) but I’ve had magnetic letters in vacuums and computer printers! How’s that! And he’s three. It’s not over yet.
LOL. Sorry – can’t help myself. Glad you’re OK. The bright side is that at least he didn’t put them in his ears as well…But it’s a good morality tale. No dollar store toys. No sleeping when toddler says so. Check!
Can’t help laughing at that, and partly because of the way you tell it. I’ve taken a 2 yo to the ER with the tip of a crayon up his own nose (put it down apparently meant push it up)but never either of us.
I think it is your moral, and your tag that I like best though.
The hand is quicker than the eye.