Dear Q,

My mother always said “don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.” Once I figured out what it meant, I appreciated the wisdom. Spitefulness, in any case, is the work of your ego. It always needs to be right, to be better, or look better, or do better; it’s usually at the expense of relationships, but it’s always at the expense of your spiritual well-being.

Keep your ego in check. It is really easy to buy into this “buy me” world that we humans have created. This consumer-driven world can cater to your ego if you let it. In my experience, a let it be attitude is much easier to live by than a look at me attitude. As the world is telling you to consume and you find yourself wanting to (and you will), ask yourself why.

Why do you want the big screen TV, the fancy car, or the big house? What part of you really wants it? It’s your ego; it’s the part of you that gets stroked whenever someone looks longingly at it. Your ego will relish the thought that you might appear better or richer or more worthy. Resist it. The more you feed your ego, the more it grows.

It is really easy to let your ego get the better of you – to let it make your decisions and dictate your interactions and relationships. Trust me, it is not worth it. Don’t let yourself get in your own way.

Love,

Mom