Dear Q,
Social constructs and societal expectations have no business in a relationship between two souls. Your body – that which gives you shape and makes you visible – determines your identity in this world, but it doesn’t define you. Your self.
Remember this when you enter a relationship with another. A healthy relationship is not bound by your physical identity and the expectations that come with it. You do not represent a collective. Male. Black. You represent your self. Your true essence. Be sure that within a relationship, you focus on you and your partner’s individual strengths, desires, and preferences – even if they appear to conflict with what either of you should prefer, desire, or present as a strength.
This world in which we live has a strong pull. It will influence you in ways that you will not realize and it will pressure you to do what it expects you to do – what it has conditioned you to do. And, it will ostracize you, alienate you, and persecute you for daring not to comply.
Resist. For the sake of your self and your partner. Resist. Remember what you know. Let what you know – what you have always known to be true – guide you. Have your relationships reflect who you are, not what you have been taught to believe that you are.
Love always,
Mom
Powerful Sarah. He’s so luck to have a mom like you who will help him with these tough lessons. Cause they are hard aren’t they. You want to protec them, teach them, empower them, but at the same time you know that the learning comes from the living. For me living up to the expecations of others has been a truly crippling disability. I really appreciate this post. You’ve inspired me to write about something similar on my own. Soon!
Wow. What a beautiful letter written to your son.
Thank you, both!
Loukia – I have a whole series of “Letters to Q.” I write them as I feel inspired.
Christine – looking forward to seeing your post!