I have been struggling to write about happiness. Everything I come up with sounds so trite and simplistic. And… I can’t get Happiness is a Warm Gun by the Beatles out of my head, which is not exactly the inspiration I was seeking.
After struggling for days to craft something inspiring, I started to wonder what the problem was. What was holding me back and why is it so hard for me to write about happiness? I am a happy person! Then it occurred to me that maybe that’s why I am having difficulty; I don’t want to flaunt my happiness. I don’t want to say Look at me! My life is awesome. I have no complaints. Why? I don’t think people want to hear that; people are struggling in their lives – they are unhappy and stressed and sad and lonely and in trouble.
Truth be told, I have reason to be all of those things, too. But for me, it’s about perspective. I have more reason to be happy than not and I choose to focus on that; it’s a conscious, active effort in my everyday. I have the power to choose a happy perspective in my everyday life.
It’s not easy and I haven’t always done it. I once was the bitter, resentful person who refused to let go of a grudge – weighing myself down with self-pity and projecting my pain onto other people in a futile attempt to protect myself from more pain. That didn’t work for me. Happiness provides me with more of a shield than any armour could.
I do my best not to complain – I look at the rain and appreciate the life it brings. I look at the weeds and appreciate their perseverance. It’s a choice and it is so liberating. I haven’t mastered it – far from it. But, I am getting there and am pleased that my happy moments outnumber my unhappy ones.
Sometimes, I need reminders to shift my perspective; they wait for me to notice them – in my son, in flowers, in bubbles, in photographs, in raindrops on a leaf, in music, in a little smile, or in a clever quote.
My life is happiness. I don’t have to find it, I just need to chip away at the unhappiness and stress and let it in. Let it take over.
I am a happy person. I have moments of unhappiness, but I can’t complain about my life. It is truly awesome and I am beyond blessed.
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This post is my second installment for Momalom’s Five for Ten. The topic is Happiness
Good Post Sarah. It is true, we all have things to be unhappy, stressed, sad about. But really, why dwell on those, be happy. There are definately people out there with bigger problems and in perspective mine really don’t amount to anything. A family with a terminally ill child, someone who has just lost a loved one, a homeless person, their issues are much bigger than mine, so I too seek to find the sunshine on a rainy day.
I’m amazed by this part of you. You truly inspire me to think differently and for that I’m very grateful. I don’t know how you got there, but I’m hoping someday I will too. I have those moments, moments of utter happiness, bliss even. I know them, recognize them, I only wish I could find my way there more often. Your frienship helps and reading your thoughts here helps, a constant reminder. A healthy constant reminder. Thank you!
It has definitely been a journey and I won’t say it’s been easy, or that I have mastered it. More than anything else, it’s a journey of gratitude and appreciation: focussing on what I want instead of what I don’t want – focussing on what I have instead of what I don’t. It’s not a perfect formula but it affects my moments in profounds ways.
Alas, you are right on. It is all about perspective. I am just beginning to realize this. Happiness is a choice. I think there is nothing wrong with flaunting your palpable joy and your compelling perspective.
Love this post. Thank you.
Yes, it really is all about how you frame your experiences. As a person who suffers from depression, it used to be very easy for me to get into a “woe is me” kind of place. Now I try to make sure that I too “look at the rain and appreciate the life it brings.” Thanks for a beautiful post.
“I have the power to choose a happy perspective in my everyday life.”
Well said. I love your half full perspective of life, and you know what? It’s contagious. The people around you will learn from it and appreciate it too – people like me.
Yay!
Thank you Sarah for writing this so beautifully. I need to print it out and reread it on those days when I’m having trouble finding the happiness I seek. I get overcome by unhappiness sometimes when really the happiness is right there beneath the unhappiness. I put too much focus on the dark side, trying to make it brighter and better when really, I should just focus on the good. Because I have SO MUCH good too. It’s just somehow easier for me to wallow in the bad.
This was perfect. Just what I needed on this rainy, gloomy day – that will likely bring more spring flowers tomorrow!
Becca, I am so glad this resonated with you. It’s definitely been a journey and process for me. But, I am trusting the process and enjoying the ride (for the most part).
omg, I totally have been singing that song as I’ve been trying (unsucessfully so far) to write my Happiness post!
I agree, happiness is a choice, and it’s everywhere if we stop to appreciate it.
bang bang, shoot shoot
Perspective is a wonderful thing. Sometimes we just get so lost in the everyday storms and gloominess of a dark day that we fail to see the rainbow overhead. Great post.
It is so easy to forget that happiness is all around us. It is so easy to get mired in the unhappy or difficult things that come at us every day. Thank you for writing this. It reminds me to be thankful for all the wonderful things I have and all the moments of happiness in my life.
I know all to well how easy it is to get sucked into wallowing in the search for happiness or what you think should make you happier.
Way to go Sarah.Happiness radiates from within and I think we all recognize truly happy people. Your happiness means very much to everyone in your family. I enjoy reading your thoughts and I look forward to more posts. See you soon,Carol.
Thanks you, Carol – the people in my life make living it easier.
“I once was the bitter, resentful person who refused to let go of a grudge – weighing myself down with self-pity and projecting my pain onto other people in a futile attempt to protect myself from more pain.”
Me too, Sarah, me too. When I left my family to come to college, I made the conscious decision to change who I once was. And, like you, I did. That doesn’t mean I don’t have my days of anger, it does mean that I recognize the downward spiral before it becomes too much of a problem. My husband helps, too.
Me, three, Sarah! I was stuck in worry and pity and anger at all the things I couldn’t control and that, ultimately, don’t matter. Reading “The Four Agreements” helped me see that I have a choice every single day. I can choose to stay mired in that negativity or I can choose to live in light. It’s all about perspective.
The Four Agreements influenced my perspective of life on so many levels. Reading that book changed my life in a lot of ways.
I love that you were able to change your perspective. I am a happy person but live in fear my happiness will be taken away. I admire your strength to find perspective.
A matter of perspective indeed. I sometimes need that reminder on particularly challenging days.
There is nothing to be ashamed about saying I am happy, out loud. Nothing wrong with that at all.
Nice to meet you through Five for Ten.
Thank you. I, too, am glad that we have connected through Five for Ten. What an amazing way to bring bloggers together.
Wow. A wonderful post. I so truly enjoyed reading it…and I’m so glad to have found your blog! The way you wrote this was so true (and NOT Pollyanna-ish), just beautiful. Thank you.
“Chip away at the unhappiness” to find the happiness within, and the happiness waiting to get in– I love that idea.
For a long time I wrote mostly happy things on my blog, and I had people who read the blog that knew me from playgroups or something give me the “she’s not for real” look (or in one case someone even hid the blog posts on facebook, she later told me…) Only after I started sharing some of my trials and hardships did those people start reading more, and understanding.
)
You’re right, it’s all about perspective. When you’re happy, I feel like we should be able to share it, but I always feel a little hesitant to do so. Because not everyone takes my happiness as a good thing, even though that shouldn’t be my problem.
(I’m totally rambling, so feel free to ignore me
I so hear that – something about us doesn’t want to hear when other people are doing well. Maybe we just want to know we’re not alone in our stress or misery, that happiness is the exception instead of the rule. Who knows…
I tend to chose my words carefully when I write and almost always put a positive spin on my posts because I believe that what I put out there has power – that my words carry weight (even if no one reads them but me). I have actually found that the positive, inspiring posts are far better received. Interesting.
Perspective. A word that creeps up in many of your posts. I especially love the letter you wrote to Q about perspective. You look at the world in such a positive way. You see the little things and the beauty that others just ignore.
“I have the power to choose a happy perspective in my everyday life.” – I love it.
It’s true! I’ve been noticing, too, that perspective pops up in my blog a lot lately! It is key to how I live my life, but I think I am just starting to learn how to articulate it.
This line right here? “Happiness provides me with more of a shield than any armour could.” YES YES and YES.
It has taken me many many years to realize this. And even still, now that I know where true strength lies, I struggle to maintain that positivity that so completely keeps me balanced.
Beautiful!
Thank you, Sarah. And so many thanks to you and Jen for giving us all an opportunity to connect and learn and broaden our perspectives. My blogging experience has been enriched so much by Five for Ten.
It’s all about perspective. Even when we seem to have it all, there will be small irritations, stresses, and things that get in our way. And sometimes we even take things for granted. Sometimes, we just need to take a breath and look again…new perspective. Nice piece.
Choosing happiness does not always come naturally to people and I often wonder why? Happiness is so much easier than it’s alternatives!! Thank you for the reminder about perspective, your post was lovely.
To know that you are happy warms my heart. To know that the woman who writes these beautiful posts is my daughter makes me…well…happy!
(Man – I can be so profound sometimes.)
That was deep!